Related:

• The real problem with fucking a sheep is that you have to walk around in front every time you want to kiss her.
• You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding.
  -- When is it okay to kiss someone?? -- Allan, AGE 10...
• You know you should be swimming when . . . You shudder every time you walk past a sushi bar.
• When you have sour cream every problem looks like a potato.
• If your behind is in front, you turned around!
• As you walk around the floor sounds hollow.
• Treat every woman as if you have slept with her and you soon will.
• Grampa: Don't be afraid, Moe. I'm here to help you with your romantic problems.
  Moe: Hey, I don't need no advice from no pinball machine....
• Abe: Hot diggety! I'm going to smooch her like a mule eating an apple!
  [demonstrates] I even bought me some special novelty dentures....