Related:

• The honeymooning couple agreed it was a fine day for horseback riding.
  After a mile or so, the bride's mount cantered under a low tree and a branch scraped her forehead lightly....
• At the first turning of the second stair I turned and saw below The same shape twisted on the banister .
  .. Under the vapour in the fetid air Struggling with the devil of the stairs who wears The deceitful face of hope and of despair....
• Heard of the Irish girl who bought a vibrator and broke off her front teeth.
• Any girl who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is obviously setting her standards too high.
• He hated to mend, so young Ned Called in a cute neighbor instead.
  Her husband said, "Vi, When you stitched up his torn fly, Did you have to bite off the thread?...
• Lisa: Look, we got a package from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan.
  Homer: Ooh! [opens package, but only Styrofoam packing peanuts spill out....
• The man who consecrates his hours by vigorous effort, and an honest aim, at once he draws the sting of life and Death
  he walks with nature; and her paths are peace. -- Young (1683-1765)...
• Yesterday upon the stair I met a man who wasn't there.
  He wasn't there again today -- I think he's from the CIA....