Best Fortunes

Best Fortunes

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Women who want to be equal to men lack imagination -- Graffito in a women's restroom
Women's Libbers are OK. I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one.
Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be President.
When he left the White House, the Secret Service would count the silverware....
You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording
Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown")....
You are at a business lunch when you are suddenly overcome with an uncontrollable desire to pick your nose.
Since this is definitely a no-no, you: (a) Pretend to wave to someone across the room...
You better believe that marijuana can cause castration.
Just suppose your girlfriend gets the munchies!...
You can lead a whore to Vasser, but you can't make her think. -- Frederick B. Artz
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.
You come out of a woman and you spend the rest of your life trying to get back inside.
-- Heathcote William...
You have just returned from a trip to Green Bay, Wisconsin in January and tell your boss that nobody but whores and football players live there.
He mentions that his wife is from Green Bay. You: ...

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