Homer Simpson

Homer Simpson

Home › Fortune Cookies › Homer Simpson

Bart: Oh, cheer up, Mom. You can't buy publicity like that.
Thousands and thousands of people saw your pretzels injuring Whitey Ford....
Oh, `no attitude,' eh? Not `in your face,' huh? Well, you can cram it with walnuts, ugly!
-- Homer Simpson The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show...
Homer: I'm sorry, Marge, but sometimes I think we're the worst family in town.
Marge: Maybe we should move to a larger community. There's No Disgrace Like Home...
Two-hundred-thirty-nine pounds?! I'm a blimp! Why are all the good things so tasty?
-- Homer Simpson Brush With Greatne...
And thank you most of all for nuclear power, which is yet to cause a single proven fatality, at least in this country.
-- Homer Simpson Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?...
Quiet, you kids! If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons and Lisa doesn't get to go to college.
-- Homer Simpson Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?...
Bart: I had a fight with Milhouse. Homer: That four-eyes with the big nose?
You don't need friends like that. Lisa: How Zen. -- Homer Simpson Homer Defined...
Homer: Well, the evening began at the Gentleman's Club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the FBI. Homer: We were sitting...
Flanders: They're not perfect, but the Lord says love they neighbor -- Home
Shut up, Flanders. Flanders: Okely-dokely-do. Hurricane Neddy...
Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the Police Academy, I thought it's be fun and exciting, like the movie `Spaceballs.
' But instead, it's been painful and disturbing, like the movie `Poli...

< previous

14

15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
31
next >