Homer Simpson

Homer Simpson

Home › Fortune Cookies › Homer Simpson

The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy how to be a man!
Let's see...
Homer: Ooh, look at this one! The Hammer of Thor! (Reading) "It will send your pins to .
.. Valhalla?" Lisa? Lisa: Valhalla is where vikings go when they die....
Marge: Name one of your child's friends. Homer: Uh, let's see, Bart's friends .
.. Well, there's the fat kid with the thing; uh, the little wiener whose always got his hands in his pockets....
Smithers: Next. There's a problem with the reactor -- what do you do?
Homer: There's a problem with the reactor?? We're all going to die!! I Married Marge...
Hey, if you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things!
-- Homer Simpson Mr. Plow...
I'm tired of being a wanna-be league bowler, I wanna be a league bowler!
-- Homer Simpson Team Home...
Marge: I know we didn't ask for this, Homer, but doesn't the Bible say, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me.
..?" Homer: Yes, but doesn't the Bible also say, "Thou sh...
Homer: All right, Herb. I'll lend you the 2,000 bucks.
But you have to forgive me and treat me like a brother....
Burns: Well, Simpson, I must say, once you're been through something like that with a person, you never want to see that person again.
Homer: You said it, you weirdo. Mountain Madne...
Marge, please, old people don't need companionship.
They need to be isolated and studied, so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use....

< previous

17

18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
31
next >