Homer Simpson

Homer Simpson

Home › Fortune Cookies › Homer Simpson

Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans.
Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!...
Homer: You like parties, huh? Well, I just remembered they're having a big one down at the waterfront this weekend.
Marge: You didn't remember that. You just saw it on TV. My Sister, My Si...
Even the Chinese are against me. -- Homer Simpson The Last Temptation of Home
Homer: Here's your magazines. How many of these guys are named Corey?
Lisa: Eight. Thanks, Dad. Bart's Dog Gets An F...
No, I do not know what the Schadenfreude is. Please tell me, because I'm dying to know.
-- Homer Simpson When Flanders Failed...
I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer.
Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats. -- Homer Simpson Dog of Death...
Marge, let's end this feudin' and a-fussin' and get down to some lovin'.
-- Homer Simpson Colonel Home...
It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. -- Homer Simpson Colonel Home
When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous, bloodsucking monsters, always wanting more, more, more!
And if you give it to 'em, you'll get back plenty in return. -- Homer Simpson Lisa...
I'm sick of eating hoagies! I want a grinder, a sub, a foot-long hero!
I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live? Won't you, please?...

< previous

19

20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
31
next >