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• Don't get too ecstatic, we all know what's going to happen next.
  This so-called trial is rigged, just like wrestling and boxing....
• What I'd like to see is a prohibition on Microsoft incorporating multi-megabyte Easter Eggs and other stupid bloatware into Windows and Office.
  A typical computer with pre-installed Microsoft shoveware probably only has about 3 megabytes of hard drive space free because of flight simulators, pinball games, and multimedia credits Easter Eggs that nobody wants....
• Security Holes Found In Microsoft Easter Eggs REDMOND, WA -- It's damage control time for the Microsoft Marketing Machine.
  Not only have exploits been found in IE, Outlook, and even the Dancing Paper Clip, but now holes have been uncovered in Excel's Flight Simulator and Word's pinball game....
• Don't you see? This whole trial is a conspiracy concocted by Bill Gates.
  He knows that he stands to make even more billions if Microsoft is broken up into Baby Bills....
• 8GB Ought To Be Enough For Anybody REDMOND, WA -- In a shocking move, Microsoft has revealed that the new Xbox console will only contain an 8 gigabyte hard drive.
  This implies that the machines will use a version of the Windows operating system that fits within only 8GB....
• Blue Screen of Death n. [common] This term is closely related to the older Black Screen of Death but much more common (many non-hackers have picked it up).
  Due to the extreme fragility and bugginess of Microsoft Windows (3....
• Microsoft Mandatory Survey (#4) Customers who want to upgrade to Windows 98 Second Edition must now fill out a Microsoft survey online before they can order the bugfix/upgrade.
  Question 4: What is your favorite Microsoft Office feature?...
• Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Microsoft Shareholder's Children?
  The Evil Monopoly will soon be a duopoly of MICROS~1 and MICROS~2 now that Judge Jackson has made his ruling....
• Clippit Charged With Attempted Murder Microsoft's Dancing Paper Clip turned violent last week and nearly killed a university student testing a new Windows-based human-computer interface.
  The victim is expected to make a full recovery, although psychiatrists warn that the incident may scar him emotionally for life....