Related:

• Mrs. Skinner: This is the Bart Simpson you're always talking about?
  Pr. Skinner: Mm hm. Mrs. Skinner: Why, he looks so sweet!...
• How many light bulbs -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One, if it knows its own Goedel number. Note: A Goedel Number is one of several ways to encode a Turing Machine, the classical abstraction of a computer, or for that matter of any algorithm....
• How many people -- does it take to change an object-oriented light bulb?
  Change it? Aw shucks, I was going to reuse it....
• A squirrel is just a rat with good P.R.
• How many Libras -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Well gee, I don't know really. I guess it depends on the bulb and where it burned out....
• Pr. Skinner: [watchs Milhouse's pathetic act] Oh terrible, just terrible.
  You know, they seem to get worse every year....
• Asked how she felt being the first woman to make a major-league team
  he said, "Like a pig in mud," or words to that effect, and then turned and released a squirt of tobacco juice from the wad of rum soaked plug in her right cheek....
• How many people -- does it take to change a light bulb for Bobby Fischer?
  Two. One person to put the new one in, and another person to file three millimetres off it first....
• Businesses and people with goals realize that public opinion is important and should not be left to the public.
  -- A national fraternity's PR guide...