Related:

• Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LEARNING, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ENCOMIAST, n. A special (but not particular) kind of liar.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Misfortune, n.: The kind of fortune that never misses.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary...
• Misfortune, n.: The kind of fortune that never misses.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...