I acquired my contact lenses a day or two later and they worked superbly.
To insert them was but the work of a moment: all I had to do was pry open
my eyes with a buttonhook, force the lenses in, and gulp as though
swallowing a Chincoteague oyster.
-- S. J. Perelman
What I do, first thing [in the morning], is I hop into the shower
stall. Then I hop right back out, because when I hopped in I landed
barefoot right on top of See Threepio, a little plastic robot character
from "Star Wars" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off of
while he showers....
