Related:

• PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands.
  Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution....
• GRACES, n. Three beautiful goddesses, Aglaia, Thalia and Euphrosyne, who attended upon Venus, serving without salary.
  They were at no expense for board and clothing, for they ate nothing to speak of and dressed according to the weather, wearing whatever breeze happened to be blowing....
• WHITE, adj. and n. Black. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• RASH, adj. Insensible to the value of our advice. "Now lay your bet with mine, nor let These gamblers take your cash.
  "Nay, this child makes no bet." "Great snakes!...
• HOURI, n. A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulma
  whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul....
• QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ZEUS, n. The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.
  Some explorers who have touched upon the shores of America, and one who professes to have penetrated a considerable distance to the interior, have thought that these four names stand for as many distinct deities, but in his monumental work on Surviving Faiths, Frumpp insists that the natives are monotheists, each having no other god than himself, whom he worships under many sacred names....
• Heaven, n.: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound your own.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...