Related:

• Lisa: Grandpa's a vampire? Bart: We're all vampires!
  Lisa: But, no! We killed Mr. Burns -- Homer: You have to kill the _head_ vampire....
• On the episode where Bart and Lisa are writing scripts for Itchy & Scratchy, Grandpa is their ghost writer.
  When asked if he ever wondered why he was getting checks in the mail, Grandpa answered," I just thought the Democrats were back in office....
• I wonder why grandpa always pulled his own finger.
• Bart: "I think this guy's a little crazy." Grandpa
  General Patton was a little crazy. This guy's totally out of his mind!...
• Bart: Grandpa, why don't you tell us a story? You've led an interesting life.
  Abe: [resentfully] That's a lie and you know it!...
• *? <-- Grandpa Tribble with his cane
• Dear Mr. President: There are too many states. Please eliminate three.
  I am not a crackpot. -- Abraham "Grandpa" Simpso...
• The one thing about living in Santa Carla that I never could stomach is all the damn vampires.
  -- Grandpa, The Lost Boy...
• Lisa: [motioning to the coffins] Satisfied? Bart: Big deal.
  It's no different from the basement in Grandpa's rest home....