Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Well, anyway, I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that like most books, it had too many words.
  The plot was the same one that all James Bond books have...
• Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay, Horace ate himself one day.
  He didn't stop to say his grace, he just sat down and ate his face....
• Carl: You new? Grimes: Yes. My name is Frank Grimes.
  Lenny: I'm Lenny. This is Carl and Homer. I'm Lenny....
• Skinner: Looks like you got an enemy, Chief. You know, folks here don't much care for law and order types.
  Wiggum: [picks the skull up with a pencil] Is that right?...
• Bart: Mom, what if there's a really bad crummy guy who's going to jail but I know he's innocent?
  Marge: Well, Bart, your uncle Arthur used to have a saying...
• Marge: Homer, I really don't like you telling personal secrets in your class.
  Homer: Marge, I didn't tell 'em personal stuff. Marge...
• This one is for all you military types. For those who don't know, Rangers are *extremely* well trained members of the U.
  S. Army. Marines are people who start out as normal soldiers and then are made to believe that bullets don't actually hurt....
• A lanky Texan was mad because Texas had just become the second largest state in the Union, so he made up his mind to move to Alaska.
  He drove for three days and three nights to get there and finally he came to what looked like the state line....