Related:

• My computer, my documents, my briefcase, my ASS! -- Ben Cook
• These paintings could spell my way out of the trenches!
  Yours? ...That's right, _ours_... -- Edmund and George : Captain Cook...
• My mother...will be as pleased as Punch. Mmmm...if only she we're as _good-looking_ as Punch, Baldrick.
  .. -- Baldrick and Edmund : Captain Cook...
• I only play with my computer on days that end in "Y.
• If only my penmanship teacher could see me now.
• If only I'd paid attention in nursery art classes instead of spending my entire time manufacturing papier-mache willies to frighten Sarah Wallace.
  .. -- Edmund : Captain Cook...
• Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls ... In our house, we have Alka-Seltzer on tap.
  If you cook like I do, the best thing I can tell you is not to be sensitive....
• Welsh men only marry Welsh women because sheep can't cook.
• You're the worst cook in the entire _world_. There are.
  ..amoeba on Saturn who could boil a better egg then you... -- Edmund to Baldrick : Captain Cook...