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• My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one. -- Groucho Marx
• My mother loved children---she would have given anything if I had been one.
  -- Groucho Marx, 1890-1977...
• If I had been present at creation, I would have given some useful hints. ALFONSO THE WISE
• What I have done - I had to do. But at what cost? Your ship?
  Your son? If I hadn't tried, the cost would have been my soul....
• I could be a country-western singer. I just got done writing my latest song
  If I had met you earlier, I would have gotten rid of you long before now....
• Lisa: It's okay. Those snobs would have never made us members, anyway.
  [at the ball, a huge gala had been set up for OFF] Evely...
• Had I been present at the creation, I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.
  -- Alfonso the Wise [Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4....