Related:

• If thine eye offends thee, pluck it out. If thy dick offends thee, whack it off.
• If thy brother offend thee, pluck out his eye.
• If thy right brain offend thee, cut it out.
• If the truth offends -- too bad.
• He was a wight of high renowne, And those but of a low degree
  Itt 's pride that putts the countrye doune, Then take thine old cloake about thee....
• Out of thine own mouth will I judge thee. -- New Testament -- Luke xix, 22
• Yet spirit immortal, the tomb cannot bind thee, But like thine own eagle that soars to the sun Thou springest from bondage and leavest behind thee A name which before thee no mortal hath won.
  Tho' nations may combat, and war's thunders rattle, No more on thy steed wilt thou sweep o'er the plai...
• Drive thy business, or it will drive thee. -- Ben Frankli
• A joke isn't funny unless it offends SOMEONE.