Related:

• Don't ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are.
  -- Jack Handey...
• A symphony must be like the world. It must contain everything. -- Gustav Mahle
• Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
  -- George Carli...
• Your dog is aging faster than you are.
• With faster machines comes slower software.
• The faster you go, the shorter you are -- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
• Fairly boring message:) This is John. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message at the tone, I'll return your call.
  (Now, re-record the message every morning. Frequent callers will notice that something sounds different, but will be confused since the words are exactly the same....
• The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.
• You should never trust anyone who listens to Mahler before they're forty. -- Clive Jame