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• Did you hear about the compulsive gambler who drove to Las Vegas, pulled up to a parking meter, put a dime in -- - and lost his car.
• Paul Lynde to block... -- a contestant on Hollywood Square
• Man 1: I don't see why Rainier Wolfcastle should be the star.
  I think we should bring back Dirk Richter....
• You mean you don't want to watch WRESTLING from ATLANTA? -- Zippy the Pinhead
• Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
  -- Abraham Lincol...