Related:

• Cat: Look at my hands, I had lovely hands. Liste
  Well wear the smegging gloves. Cat: (picking up gloves) Marigold with blue?...
• Rimmer, they're a bunch of arrogant, pompous, emotionally weird, stuck up megalomaniacs.
  ..do you really think you'll fit in with them? What am I saying?...
• Holly: We are talking Jape of the Decade. We are talking April, May, June, July, and August, fool.
  Yes, that's right -- I am Queeg. Rimmer, Lister, Cat: WHAT?!!!!!! -- Red Dwarf - 'Queeg'...
• Lisa: I need help, Mom. There's another girl at school who's smarter, younger, and a better sax player than me.
  Ew, I feel so average. Marge: Well, you'll always be number one to me -- Ba...
• I'm not a god, I was misquoted. -- Lister, Red Dwarf
• A five-year-old kid raised his hand at school. The teacher declined to let him leave the room.
  Five minutes later she reversed herself. She said, "All right, Sonny, you may go now....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....
• I thought that you said you were 20 years old!" "As a programmer, yes," she replied, "And you claimed to be very near two meters tall!
  "You said you were blonde, but you lied!" Oh, she was a hacker and he was one, too, They had so much in common, you'd say....