Related:

• When I 'm not thank'd at all, I 'm thank'd enough; I 've done my duty, and I 've done no more.
  -- Henry Fielding (1707-1754) -- Tom Thumb the Great, Act i, Sc. 3...
• I'm beginning to appreciate the value of naps. Naps are wonderful, aren't they?
  Sometimes now I have to take a nap to get ready for bed. -- Marsha Warfield...
• I 've wandered east, I 've wandered west, Through many a weary way
  But never, never can forget The love of life's young day....
• My only books Were woman's looks,-- And folly 's all they 've taught me.
  -- Thomas Moore (1779-1852) -- The Time I 've lost in wooing...
• Oh, I have roamed o'er many lands, And many friends I 've me
  Not one fair scene or kindly smile Can this fond heart forget....
• I used to be a virgin. I gave it up because there was no money in it. -- Marsha Warfield
• Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls ... In our house, we have Alka-Seltzer on tap.
  If you cook like I do, the best thing I can tell you is not to be sensitive....
• I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name. -- Paula Poundstone
• I was walking down 126th Street on my way to work. Met a fella.
  He said, "Moms, I hate this, I really hate this, but, Moms, gimme some money!...