Related:

• I am getting into abstract painting. Real abstract -- no brush, no canvas, I just think about it.
  I just went to an art museum where all of the art was done by children....
• My views on evolution? I think Darwin was adopted. -- Steven Wright.
• I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. -- Steven Wrigh
• I was born by Caesarian section...but not so you'd notice.
  It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. -- Steven Wrigh...
• Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second. -- Steven Wrigh
• I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is.
  Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that....
• My girlfriend and I went on a picnic. I don't know how she did it, but she got poison ivy on the brain.
  When it itched, the only way she could scratch it was to think about sandpaper. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board.
  You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it....
• Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
  -- Steven Wrigh...