Related:

• As near as I can tell you're not any crazier than the average asshole on the street -- Ken Kesey via R.
  P. McMurphy "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Ne...
• Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year.
  -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/18/92, (reported on KRXX News)...
• My aunt's lost it. Says she has what's-his-name's disease
• I got an aunt named Minnie. Weighs 264. When she sits on the chair there's so much of her there--most of her sits on the floor.
  -- Morey Amsterdam...
• My Aunt Ida at age eighty-three: "Yeah," she said, "I'll be dead pretty soon.
  And frankly, I don't give a damn." -- Edward Abbey...
• Marge: Kids, I have some bad news. I'm afraid your great-aunt Gladys has.
  .. passed on. Bart: Gladys, Gladys... big puffy hair, about yea high, big dent in forehead?...
• My aunt's had a terrible time. First off, she got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis and pneumonia.
  After that she got rheumatism, and to top it off they gave her hypodermics and inoculations....
• I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.
  Marriage is a two-way proposition, but never let the woman know she is one of the ways....
• HARTLEY'S SECOND LAW: Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
  My corollary: The completely psychotic have all the fun....