Related:

• I have just read your lousy review buried in the back pages.
  You sound like a frustrated old man who never made a success, an eight-ulcer man on a four-ulcer job, and all four ulcers working....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Homer: Would you like me to shred those environmental reports for you, sir?
  Burns: Already taken care of. [shreds the reports and throw them out the window] Bu...
• One morning, four years ago, something happened that I will never forget.
  I woke up, and I looked at myself in the mirror, because I happened to wake up in the bathroom, and I said to myself, "Dave, you have a wonderful wife, you have a newborn son, you have a good job, you have friends who care about you, you have a lawn mower that starts on the second or third pull--you have everything a man could possibly want, and a whole lifetime ahead of you to enjoy it in....
• A man is walking down the street when he sees a man with four arms, and antennae coming out of his head.
  He goes up to him and says, "You're not from around here, are you?...
• Data: "I have often wondered what it must be like to have one's mouth.
  ..water in anticipation of the arrival of a confection....
• Barney: I'm with you, Homer! McAllister: I be with ya too, matey.
  Skinner: I'm with you, Homer. Moe: You're the man, Homer....
• The only time in our lives we like to get old is when we're kids.
  If you're less than 10 years old you're so excited about aging you think in fractio...