Related:

• In the future, you're going to get computers as prizes in breakfast cereals.
  You'll throw them out because your house will be littered with them....
• You will not get the hiccups when you are alone. You will get them in the middle of your bar exam, or at a funeral, or on a visit to your future inlaws' house.
• You will live in interesting times and, if lucky, survive them.
• All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes.
  For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, because, in the words of U....
• Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast.
  You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes....
• If you are going to throw your weight around, you ought first to join an aerobics class, so you get something from your effort.
• Get up Dog Boy! Show them where you come from, show them where you're going!