Related:

• A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the family dog, Old Blue with him, for company.
  He's only been there a few weeks when he gets a call from his girlfriend...
• Remember the good old days where you decided which candidate to vote for by asking who would do the most good?
  Now you ask who will do the least harm....
• Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?
  ! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker? Phoebe: No-no-no oh, keep your name, don_t take his name....
• Are you a parent? Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to say in those awkward situations?
  Worry no more... You wouldn't understand. You ask too many questions....
• If you throw a New Year's Party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time.
  Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year....
• If you throw a New Year's Party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time.
  Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year....
• Half of what I say is meaningless But I say it just to reach you...
• I had to take Dramamine just to keep eye contact with her. -- John Riggi