Related:

• ALDERMAN, n. An ingenious criminal who covers his secret thieving with a pretence of open marauding.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• EULOGY, n. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• GLUTTON, n. A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• IMMIGRANT, n. An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Abstainer, n.: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...