Related:

• They call it football, but the object of the game is to bash the other guy so hard that he's eventually carried off the field on a stretcher.
  I can't watch football anymore. My psychiatrist said it's better that way....
• Marge: Hello, Mom?...Fine. You know, Abe had a very nice time with you last Sunday -- Abe
  Tell her I love her! Marge: [covering mouthpiece] Grampa, shh!...
• A guy has to get fresh once in a while so the girl doesn't lose her confidence.
• A guy has to get fresh once in a while so a girl doesn't lose her confidence.
• Lisa: [sigh] Well, I guess you can't beat big business.
  There's just no room for the little guy. Lisa...
• Save America! Impeach President Clinton and her husband, Bill.
• INPEACH CLINTON!, AND GET HER HUSBAND TOO!
• The girl who remembers her first kiss now has a daughter who can't even remember her first husband.