Related:

• I must stop here... my fingers are hoarse.
• SMILEY :-@ "I swea
• Reason for traffic accident (taken from accident/insurance forms)
  I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home, as I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision....
• I have reached an age when I look just as good standing on my head as I do right side up.
  -- Frank Sulliva...
• I wanna reach up and touch the sky; I wanna touch the sun but I don't wanna fry.
• I just held my hand up to this buzz saw and lost one of my fingers!
  What do you make of that?...Damn--there goes another!...
• I golf, therefore I swea
• Nurse: [answers phone] Simpson. Grampa: Hot diggity!
  I don't care if it's bad news! Lisa: Oh, Grampa!...
• I have stripped off my dress; must I put it on again?
  I have washed my feet; must I soil them again? When my beloved slipped his hand through the latch-hole, my bowels stirred within me [my bowels were moved for him (KJV)]....