Related:

• Every time I find a girl who can cook like my mother--she looks like my father. -- Tony Randall
• I thought about being Born Again, but my mother refused.
• There's not a lot of warmth between me and my mother.
  I asked her about it. I said, "Mrs. Stoller ..." -- Fred Stolle...
• I idolized my mother. I didn't realize she was a lousy cook until I went into the Army.
  -- Jackie Gayle...
• Lifting her skirt, she revealed her treasure. The mother lode.
  Pretty, I thought, but is it art? -- Edward Abbey...
• Otto: My standards are just too high, you know? I feel like nobody's good enough for me.
  [a flea falls from his hair] Oh. You think you got 'em all, but you forget about the eggs!...
• Why did you spend so much time parked in that fellow's car last night?
  demanded the irate mother. "I could hear the giggling and squealing for a good half hour....
• When I was a small boy, I used to watch the marshwarblers swooping in my mother's undercroft.
  And I remember thinking - would Man ever dare do the same?...
• She was so ugly her mother used to babyfeed her with a slingshot.