Related:

• Did you hear about the handsome bachelor Senator who hired a ravishing blonde as his assistant and then made her the object of a long Congressional probe.
• When you slithered out of your hole that day, and you spewed your venom all over this defenseless 12-year-old girl, you made this court's top 10 hit list.
  In a way, the best sentence this court could give would be no sentence at all, because if you left this courtroom I don't think you would be alive 10 minutes....
• Saleswoman says: "...this is the first toy made for children, by children, with all profits going to children.
  Lisa says: "Really" Saleswoman says: "Well we're all somebody's children" Episode...
• You know you should be swimming when . . . You've made discrete inquiries about "Species Change" surgery.
• Riker: "Well, I'm a little confused." Troi: "Well, if you're still confused tomorrow, you know where my office is.
  -- "Conundrum", Stardate 45494.2...
• You know the honeymoon is over when you wife says she's going to slip into something a little more comfortable, and it turns out to be a twin bed!
• If you get to 35 and your job still involves wearing a name tag, you've probably made a serious vocational error.
  -- Dennis Mille...
• If you happen to think that you understand everything that is going on about you, it is likely that you are hopelessly confused.
  It is not met to be understood, but it is met to be observed and commented upon....
• Bart: [in the present] Wow, Dad, you really threw a tantrum like a little sissy girl?
  Homer: Oh, just that one time. Marge: Actually, when I was about to have Bart -- Home...