Related:

• I told someone I was getting married, and they said, "Have you picked a date yet?
  I said, "Wow, you can bring a date to your own wedding?" What a country! -- Yakov Smirnoff...
• Try orange juice and Milk of Magnesia and get a Phillips screwdriver.
• Powder milk - Has your family tried 'em?
• Like you, I am frequently haunted by profound questions related to man's place in the Scheme of Things.
  Here are just a few: Q -- Is there life after death?...
• I am convinced that the manufacturers of carpet odor removing powder have included encapsulated time released cat urine in their products.
  This technology must be what prevented its distribution during my mom's reign....
• Clinton: Al, I need a orange juice substitute and I need it now.
• Marge: Then how about going as Florida? You enjoy orange juice, old people like you -- Lisa
  Dad, what do _you_ think? Homer: Shh! I'm trying to teach the baby to gamble....
• The world is a powder keg, and I but a humble flame.
• Norm tries to prove that he is not Anton Kreitzer.] Norm
  Afternoon, everybody! All: Anton! -- Cheers, The Two Faces of Norm Woody...