Related:

• Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
  Marge: [Wearily] Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa....
• Have you said "I love you" to your mother lately
• The teacher asked three boys to write an essay. She said, "Write on what you would do if you had a million dollars, and bring it in tomorrow.
  So the next day the three little boys came in. She said to the first boy, "Percy, this is a nice essay on what you'd do with a million dollars....
• I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
  Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how....
• Jimbo and Kearney restrain Bart] Nelson: [beating on Bart] This is for wasting teacher's valuable time!
  Lisa: [punches Jimbo, pulls his shirt half over his head] Lay off, guys!...
• Milhouse: Bart, my mom won't let me be your friend any more.
  That's why you couldn't come to the party....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• I told my mother I was going to have natural childbirth.
  She said to me, "Linda, you've been taking drugs all your life....
• Some sweat-hoggin' mama with a face like a gent said my "get-up-and-go" musta got up and went.
  Well, I got good news, she's a real good liar, 'cuz my backstage boogie'll set your pants on fire!...