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• I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.
  -- Dave Barry...
• I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no class.
• I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no credit cards.
• I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no socks.
• I cried for the man who had no hair until I met the man who had no head
• When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.
  I said, "Well, what do you need?" -- Steven Wrigh...
• When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.
  I said, `Well, what do you need?'" -- Steven Wrigh...