Related:

• Bart: Lis! Lis, come here, I found him! I found Edgar Neubauer.
  [points at a tombstone: "Edgar Neubauer: Beloved husband and old grouch (1831-1909)"] Oh my God....
• Lisa: Remember, Bart -- I mean, Dances In Underwear -- we take the White Man alive.
  Bart: All right, Thinks Too Much: it shall be so....
• No, my friend, the way to have good and safe government, is not to trust it all to one, but to divide it among the many, distributing to every one exactly the functions he is competent to.
  It is by dividing and subdividing these republics from the national one down through all its subordinations, until it ends in the administration of every man's farm by himself...
• Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean of Academics because he was concerned about his players' mental abilities.
  "My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the unbelieving dean....
• Lisa: Look, we got a package from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan.
  Homer: Ooh! [opens package, but only Styrofoam packing peanuts spill out....
• Burns: Have you, uh, found any dirt on Mary Bailey?
  Advisor 1: Well, we've gone through her garbage. Advisor 2...
• I have a few good reasons for drinking And one has just entered my head If a man can't drink when he's living How the hell can he drink when he's dead?
• You mean you took a *shotgun* to a UFO sighting?
• Aunt Patty: "Nothing dear, I'm just trashing your father.
  Lisa: "Well, I wish you wouldn't because, aside from the fact that he has the same frailties as all human beings, he's the only father I have therefore he is my model of manhood and my estimation of him will govern my prospects of my adult relationships....