Related:

• Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything. -- Bob Dyla
• Troy: Thank you, it's great to be back. I just want to say, I wouldn't be here without the support of a very special lady
  my always outrageous fiancee Selma. Take a bow, sugar beet!...
• You took my breath away and now I want it back.
• Caller: I just installed Windows 95 on my computer.
  Tech Support: And...? Caller: It's not working. Tech Support: You already said that....
• My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate.
  I said, "Just wait." -- Judy Tenuta...
• You want to know why I kept getting promoted? Because my mouth knows more than my brain. -- W.G.
• The best advice I ever received was from my co-author of You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought, John-Roger, who once told me, "You can have anything you want.
  You just can't have everything you want." -- Peter McWilliam...
• Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean of Academics because he was concerned about his players' mental abilities.
  "My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the unbelieving dean....
• My ritual differs slightly. What I do, first thing [in the morning], is I hop into the shower stall.
  Then I hop right back out, because when I hopped in I landed barefoot right on top of See Threepio, a little plastic robot character from "Star Wars" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off of while he showers....