Related:

• KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.
  A king, in times long, long gone by, Said to his lazy jeste...
• SCARABEE, n. The same as scarabaeus. He fell by his own hand Beneath the great oak tree.
  He'd traveled in a foreign land. He tried to make her understand The dance that's called the Saraband, But he called it Scarabee....
• Opportunity, n. A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave- driver.
  As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet Swims round and round his tank to find an outlet, Pressing his nose against the glass that holds him, Nor ever sees the prison that enfolds him...
• AIR, n. A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RAPACITY, n. Providence without industry. The thrift of power.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HARMONISTS, n. A sect of Protestants, now extinct, who came from Europe in the beginning of the last century and were distinguished for the bitterness of their internal controversies and dissensions.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PLOW, n. An implement that cries aloud for hands accustomed to the pen.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...