Related:

• Mankind's yearning to engage in sports is older than recorded history
  dating back to the time millions of years ago, when the first primitive man picked up a crude club and a round rock, tossed the rock into the air, and whomped the club into the sloping forehead of the first primitive umpire....
• The first rule of magic is simple. Don't waste your time waving your hands and hoping when a rock or a club will do.
  -- McCloctnik the Lucid...
• The first rule of magic is simple. Don't waste your time waving your hands and hoping when a rock or a club will do.
  -- McCloctnik the Lucid...
• We ought to be very grateful that we have tools. Millions of years ago people did not have them, and home projects were extremely difficult.
  For example, when a primitive person wanted to put up paneling, he had to drive the little paneling nails into the cave wall with his bare fist, so generally the paneling wound up getting spattered with primitive blood, which isn't really all that bad when you consider how ugly paneling is to begin with....
• We ought to be very grateful that we have tools. Millions of years ago people did not have them, and home projects were extremely difficult.
  For example, when a primitive person wanted to put up paneling, he had to drive the little paneling nails into the cave wall with his bare fist, so generally the paneling wound up getting spattered with primitive blood, which isn't really all that bad when you consider how ugly paneling is to begin with....