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• We shall reach greater and greater platitudes of achievement. -- Richard J. Daley, Chicago Mayo
• There was a plane crash over mid-ocean, and only three survivors were left in the life-raf
  he Pope, the President, and Mayor Daley. Unfortunately, it was a one-man life-raft, and quickly sinking, so they started debating who should be allowed to stay....
• The following appeared in the editorial section of Monroetown's local newspaper.
  "Mayor Brown was recently re-elected by a clear majority of 52 percent of Monroetown's voters....
• Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods. -- H.L. Mencke
• Sex in marriage is like medicine. Three times a day for the first week.
  Then once a day for another week. Then once every three or four days until the condition clears up....
• Missouri Town Changes Name to 'Linux' LINUX, MO -- The small Missouri town of Linn, county seat of Osage County, announced yesterday that it will be henceforth called 'Linux'.
  Mayor Bob Farrow said, "Linn needed something to put it on the map....
• The Yellow Stream, by I. P. Daley