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• SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! My Keyboard Died!!!
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Grandma: Homer, you grew up so handsome. Homer: Some people say I look like Dan Aykroyd.
  I can't believe you're here! Dad always told me you died while I was at the movies....
• Lisa: Look, we got a package from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan.
  Homer: Ooh! [opens package, but only Styrofoam packing peanuts spill out....
• Men have not found the words for it nor the deed nor the thought, but they have found the music.
  Let me see that in one single act of man on earth....
• I don't understand some phrases. Take "I look forward to seeing you.
  Why don't you listen forward to looking me? One night a woman came to me after a concert and said, "I haven't laughed so much since my husband died....
• Patty: [walks up to the podium] Take a hike, bozo. And that eulogy better not show up on the bill.
  I'll keep this short. Gladys lived alone, died alone....
• FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
  #16 Relationships: First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship -- he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie were doing it on a semi-regular basis"....
• HELP!! PaPa Smurf In My CPU Died...