Related:

• He had been bitten by a dog, but didn't give it much thought until he noticed that the wound was taking a remarkably long time to heal.
  Finally, he consulted a doctor who took one look at it and ordered the dog brought in....
• You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.
  A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with alot of other things, so that he has difficulty in laying his hands upon it....
• I have a friend who is so stupid that he tried to enter the 1-900-SPELLIT contest, but he kept getting the wrong number.
• Bother! said Pooh, as he tried to install Windoze.
• Bother! said Pooh, as he tried to install OS/2.
• Bother! said Pooh, as he tried to learn COBOL.
• My father had the spirit and integrity of a scientist, but he was a salesman.
  I remember asking him the question "How can a man of integrity be a salesman?...
• A drunk tried several times to navigate a revolving door, but finally gave up in disgust.
  He wandered over to lean against a nearby lamppost....
• He did not mean to be cruel. If anybody had called him so, he would have resented it extremely.
  He would have said that what he did was done entirely for the good of the country....