Related:

• A woman went into a hospital one day to give birth.
  Afterwards, the doctor came to her and said, "I have some....
• I told my doctor I wanted to stop aging. He gave me a gun!
• For years a secret shame destroyed my peace -- I'd not read Eliot, Auden or MacNiece.
  But now I think a thought that brings me hope: Neither had Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Pope....
• I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
  -- Henny Youngma...
• Marge: What makes you think this Darryl Strawberry character is better than you?
  Homer: Marge, forget it. He's bigger than me, faster than me, stronger than me, and he already has more friends around the plant than I do....
• Marge: Homer, I think the baby is coming. Homer: Wow.
  A baby and a free burger. Could this be the best day of my life?...