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• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....
• Bet you wonder how I knew about your plan to make me blue with some other guy that you knew before.
  Between both guys you know I love you more. It took me by surprise, I must say, when I found out yesterday....
• How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 -- did it take to screw in a light bulb?
  (Bruce Babbitt) It's foolish to talk about screwing in light bulbs when we haven't even taken the first step, and that is to remove the old bulb....
• Marge: But on the other hand, when you don't take advantage of an opportunity, you can end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
  Homer: You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• I did cancel one performance in Holland where they thought my music was so easy that they didn't rehearse at all.
  And so the first time when I found that out, I rehearsed the orchestra myself in front of the audience of 3,000 people and the next day I rehearsed through the second movement -- this was the piece _Cheap Imitation_ -- and they then were ashamed....
• A manager asked a programmer how long it would take him to finish the program on which he was working.
  I will be finished tomorrow," the programmer promptly replied....
• Well, anyway, I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that like most books, it had too many words.
  The plot was the same one that all James Bond books have...
• Grandma: Homer, you grew up so handsome. Homer: Some people say I look like Dan Aykroyd.
  I can't believe you're here! Dad always told me you died while I was at the movies....