Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• A young man enters the New York branch of Tiffany's on a Friday evening and walks up to a display case full of pearl necklaces.
  He turns to a gorgeous woman, who is obviously windowshopping, looks her straight in the eye and says, "I can tell by your eyes that you really want that necklace....
• alk mode n. A feature supported by Unix, ITS, and some other OSes that allows two or more logged-in users to set up a real-time on-line conversation.
  It combines the immediacy of talking with all the precision (and verbosity) that written language entails....
• Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
  Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone....
• She was ugly! She was known as a two-bagger. That's a girl who's so ugly, when you go out with her you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.
  She was so ugly, you look in the dictionary under "ugly" and you see her picture....
• Nothing that's forced can ever be right, If it doesn't come naturally, leave it.
  That's what she said as she turned out the light, And we bent our backs as slaves of the night, Then she lowered her guard and showed me the scars She got from trying to fight Saying, oh, you'd better believe it....
• What they said: What they meant: "I recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever.
  (Yes, that about sums it up.) "The amount of mathematics she knows will surprise you....
• One pill makes you larger And if you go chasing rabbits And, one pill makes you small.
  And you know you're going to fall. And the ones that mother gives you, Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar Don't do anything at all....
• Inflatable dolls--the ad says, "She never has a headache.
  But you do, blowing her up. -- Robert Schimmel...