Related:

• Never trust a man who can count to 1,023 on his fingers.
• Never accept brownies from a proctologist.
• Never trust a person who says, "Trust Me"....
• A proctologist is a doctor who puts in a hard day at the orifice.
• Never trust anyone who says money is no object.
• Never trust anyone who uses "party" as verb.
• Never trust anyone who volunteers to assume authority.
• Homer: Okay, who's up for some scrounging? [begins to scrounge
  coming up with a basketball, deflated into a bowl-like shape] Hey, here's a perfectly good basketball hat....