Related:

• Bart: I thought dabbling in the Black Arts would be good for a chuckle, how wrong I was.
  I should have never read that book. Lisa: Bart, maybe the library has another book that will reverse the spell?...
• There is no need for us to panic in this situation. -- Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jone
• If you take a dog in, feed it and take care of it, it will come to think
  "See all he is doing for me; my owner must be a god....
• Since most computers and word processors now come equipped with an electronic dictionary, there is little reason left to learn the alphabet by heart, save for the phone book.
• A man walked into a haberdashery and said to the owner, "Did you just see me come in?
  The owner replied, "Yes, sir, I did." "Ahhhh!" the man said....
• eads) 'Lovely little dumpling, how in love I am, Let me be your shepherdkins, you can be my lamb.
  ' ...Well, I think we'll be very lucky if she doesn't just come out onto the balcony and _vomit_ over us....
• Right now, a little boredom wouldn't come amiss.
• How come he didn't put `I think' at the end of it? -- James P. Hoga
• Nothing is there to come, and nothing past, But an eternal now does always last.
  -- Abraham Cowley (1618-1667) -- Davideis, Book i, Line 25...