Related:

• How many software vendors -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None: You have to do it yourself, pay them $99 for the privilege, and re-wire your sockets to suit the new bulb....
• One day an elderly Jewish Pole, living in Warsaw, finds an old lamp in his attic.
  He starts to polish it and (poof!) a genie appears in cloud of smoke....
• A man goes to a tailor to try on a new custom-made suit.
  The first thing he notices is that the arms are too long....
• A man goes to a tailor to try on a new custom-made suit.
  The first thing he notices is that the arms are too long....
• Budget: An orderly system of living beyond your means.
• Krusty: Hey, kids! It's story time. [laughs] I'm going to tell you the story of Krusty's expensive new sui
  his sexual harassment suit. [laughs painfully] Boy....
• If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track, which has been there all the while waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living.
  -- Joseph Campbell...