Related:

• Monica: Okay, all right don't judge me to much. Okay?
  Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop....
• Phoebe: Hi. All: Hey. Joey: [to Phoebe] Look at you.
  Since when do you roller blade? Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow....
• Until this moment, I never knew why God put me on this earth, but now I know
  To buy that comic book! -- Bart, "Three Men and a Comic Book...
• Wiggum: Wait a minute. If the second old geezer got shot, how come nobody reported it?
  [at the old folks home, they pound on door 26] [Jasper answers] Wiggum...
• I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool.
  It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up....
• Rachel enters.] Monica: (seeing her) Okay, let's go!
  ! Let's hit the road!! Rachel: Hey! Monica: Let's get the show on it!...
• On my first acid trip, I thought I was God. On my second acid trip I thought I was Jesus.
  On my third trip I thought I was Napoleon and on my fourth trip I thought I was a toadstool....
• I B M U B M We all B M For I B M!!!! -- H.A.R.L.I.E.
• Oh, God, if I were sure I were to die tonight I would repent at once.
  It is the commonest prayer in all languages. -- James M. Barrie, "Sentimental Tommy...