Related:

• Old Ladies Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette.
  It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke....
• A lady lost her cat, and took the cat in a little casket up to a big church and said, "I want you to bury my cat.
  And they run her off. She went to another church, and they run her off....
• There was a young lady of Norway Who hung by her toes in a doorway.
  She said to her beau "Just look at me Joe I think I've discovered one more way....
• O When the lady smiles, You know it drives me wild =`\&l
  Her lips are warm and resourcefull, (=)/(=) When the lady smiles, I cannot resist her call And as a matter of fact, I don't resist at all....
• I live just off Ventura Boulevard, where all the weirdos hang ou
  and I was on a corner the other day when a wild-looking sort of gypsy-looking lady with a dark veil over her face grabbed me right on Ventura Boulevard and said, "Karen Haber!...
• Am I dying or is this my birthday?" (When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside.
  ) ~~ Lady Nancy Astor, d. 1964...
• A lady with one of her ears applied To an open keyhole heard, inside, Two female gossips in converse free -- The subject engaging them was she.
  "I think", said one, "and my husband thinks That she's a prying, inquisitive minx!...
• EAVESDROP, v.i. Secretly to overhear a catalogue of the crimes and vices of another or yourself.
  A lady with one of her ears applied To an open keyhole heard, inside, Two female gossips in converse free -- The subject engaging them was she....