Related:

• How come every time you go to the emergency room of a hospital they got foreign doctors from India there?
  I don't want to put my life in the hands of any doctor who believes in reincarnation....
• Something better... 1 (obvious): Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
  2 (meteorological): Everybody take cover. She's going to blow....
• An ear to the ground and nose to the grindstone can be painful.
• A hole is nothing, but you can break your neck in it.
• Lisa: So, Bart, have your insides been gnawed away by guilt yet?
  Bart: Sell it to Hallmark, Sis. You're looking at Cucumber boy, as in "Cool as a"....
• A cannibal warrior is experiencing severe gastric distress, so he goes to his Village Witch Doctor with his complaint.
  The VWD examines him and, concluding that something he ate disagreed with him, began to cross examine him about his recent diet....
• I might be any number of things, young lady. As it happens, I am the Doctor.
  -- Hartnell Doctor, THE FIVE DOCTORS...
• You have to have a physical before you get into the Army.
  A doctor looks in one ear, another doctor looks in the other ear, and if they can't see each other, you're in....
• One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to come up to you and show you a nice
  brand- new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the jack of spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in your ear....