Related:

• LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• CANNIBAL, n. A gastronome of the old school who preserves the simple tastes and adheres to the natural diet of the pre-pork period.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• EXCESS, n. In morals, an indulgence that enforces by appropriate penalties the law of moderation.
  Hail, high Excess -- especially in wine, To thee in worship do I bend the knee Who preach abstemiousness unto me -- My skull thy pulpit, as my paunch thy shrine....
• Distress, n.: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Distress, n.: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary...
• Hatred, n.: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...